Potty Talk

My neighbors’ toilet habits differ greatly from mine in 3 ways:

1) As some of you might know, I pee a lot. They don’t. I think this is largely due to the fact that even with full days of hard manual labor they don’t really drink water. Ever. For the most part it's just rice water with meals for them, while I drink a lot of water and don’t do manual labor all day.  

2) I have toilet paper in my outhouse, but I’m sneaky about putting it there because it’s quite expensive and I don’t want them to see how much I use. This means that unlike them I don’t have to gather leaves before going to the toilet.

3) I pee in my outhouse. They only use it for #2. They usually just pee behind their houses. My house is in the middle, so “behind” any side of my house is someone’s front door and there is always someone watching wherever I go so no just “sneaking” off to the bushes (definitely no sneaking to my outhouse). 

Now, put all these facts together from their perspective:

1) She goes to the bathroom every few hours.

2) She doesn’t use anything to wipe.

3) She is pooping.

What would you think?

I started laughing to myself the other day when I realized that it looks like I am an unsanitary person with constant diarrhea.