Picture Nightmares

Every few months we have a report we have to fill out for Peace Corps. One of the sections is called “lessons learned.” During training, they printed out and gave to us some of the lessons that previous volunteers reported learning. The other day I was particularly angry and wondering why no one had thought to tell us to avoid this problem. To deal with my frustration, I decided to hide in my house and go through old papers. I came across a sheet from the first few weeks here, and sure enough there was the advice I thought I had not been given, in all caps: NEVER PRINT PICTURES FOR ANYONE.

I have struggled with this for many months now. It has become a serious problem. It got to the point that I would see someone approaching me, and immediately I would try to hide/ hope they were too busy to talk. Sometimes, if it was someone I didn’t know well, I would just be intentionally unfriendly and hope they wouldn’t work up the courage to ask for a photo.

It all started with a few photos for my neighbors. But, aside from the initial mistake of printing a photo in the first place, I made three other major mistakes: I charged them just the price of the actual photo; I printed them in Tana at a place that is exceptionally cheap and exceptionally good quality; I didn’t know the price beforehand, so I had them pay me after. This opened the floodgates, and it got to the point that I often had about 10 people a day asking for photos to be taken.

Maybe it doesn’t sound that bad. But just as I would sit down to eat breakfast and lunch (right when school starts and then again when it gets out), I would hear a herd of shuffling feet and muffled giggling before a kid would awkwardly stand in the doorway and watch me eat for a few minutes before remembering her manners and saying hello. I would respond, and then just wait for her to work up the courage to ask the big question – “can you take our picture?” Then we would go outside, at which point another 5-10 minutes of giggling and outfit changing would result in some of the most boring poses and bizarre outfits for a photo shoot. They would promise money the next day. I am not a complete fool, so I had learned by this point not to print anything until I had money in hand.

A few weeks later, they would come over and ask me where their photo was. When I would remind them they hadn’t ever paid, they would just stare at me and then run away (it’s not very good culturally to talk about money so directly). Sometimes that was the end of it, but sometimes they would magically come up with the money (I had also learned to charge more, hoping to discourage them), and expect me to remember who their older sister was who had taken a photo a month ago, then be confused when I told them I couldn’t remember which picture they were talking about.

It culminated with a church party. They, understandably, wanted me to document the baptisms and communions etc. I didn’t want to. So I gave my camera to a friend to be photographer. That was a good first step, but still not done. Afterward, they all wanted photos taken in their finest 80’s prom gowns standing with the priest. I enlisted the help of 3 guys: one to yell at people, one to write down names and payments, and one to translate between the frantic photo subjects and the scribe.

I printed those photos. But it took me a few weeks. Every time I saw anyone, the first words, often before hello, were about the photos. I began to start cursing under my breath every time I saw one of them coming near me. They were finally distributed. But that wasn’t the end. For weeks, people would come up asking for their printed photo. I dutifully consulted my list, and informed them that no, there was no photo for them since they hadn’t paid.

When some people tracked me down 6k from my house, dressed in their finest and carrying all their children, they were openly angry with me when I told them I had not brought my camera. What was I thinking? What if someone wanted me to take their picture? Why would I leave it behind? I told them they could go to Andasibe if they wanted a photo because not only had I left it at home; I wasn’t printing photos any more. They were openly angry, very un-Malagasy of them, especially since I’m a Vazaha.

I should have learned from that experience that telling the truth isn’t the best plan. I decided I was done printing photos entirely, and informed my neighbors. But when I heard them explaining it to other people, it was always a complete lie: “she left her camera in Andasibe,” “she’ll be taking them next month, but not now,” “the battery is dead,” “she’s busy right now, but come back tomorrow.” I thought it strange, but maybe they just didn’t get it?

On the way to Andasibe, some ladies stopped me and told me I should come to their house next week to take photos of them, because they didn’t want to walk all the way to my house. I said that I was fed up with taking photos, and that I would take them, but that I refuse to print them anymore because it had become a full time job. They told me I was a bad person who had betrayed them. Incredibly direct and offensive. But I honestly think I had been the first to offend by being so blunt. It’s much better culturally to lie and dance around the issue, and by being direct I was extremely rude.

Finally, I dropped it in the creek. Luckily it is ok now, but it gave me a reason to tell them: I can’t take photos: I dropped it in the water. I wasn’t lying, but they probably all thought I was. Either way, they accepted that as a good answer. Now it’s fixed, but I have learned to lie, so I tell them that all the photos from before the water were lost, and that now I can’t print photos anymore. It seems to work for now.

The issue is this: I essentially can’t take photos of life as it goes on, because it’s become offensive if I don’t print photos. This results in me being really reluctant to pull out my camera in public, and missing many great photo opportunities. I’m disappointed that this is the path it took, but oh well. Maybe the next volunteer won’t ignore the warning:

NEVER PRINT PICTURES FOR ANYONE